Gitanjali

Knowing Smile October 21, 2011

Girl on a busy street looking for an address. 

Desai !

Every gujrati reminds me of him. Is… Is this how it is ? I mean, its never happend to me before. I don’t know how to go about it, really. Or… or what to do about it. Because when… when… something happens… good or bad, I like to take care of  it. This… this ‘love’ thing, I don’t know what to do with. I’d like to call mom and tell her about it or Nitya, but both would have equally opposite and (pause) equally dangerous reactions.

I can… I can… Obama says ‘I can’. So even I can. I can control this. I was the head girl of Hyderabad  Public School. I have showcase at home filled with my medals and trophies. I play the clarinet, flute and trombone. I have lungs of steel and a diaphragm that can put an opera singer to shame, then why the hell can’t I breath ! I didn’t even like him for heaven’s sake !

Okay…I knew he existed. I won’t deny that. He is a silent killer. Even I couldn’t stop my self in class from laughing at his jokes. The other guys just crack lame jokes like the ones you have in low budget movies for comic relief. People usually think I’m stuck up and annoying for not laughing but I grew up on a solid dose of Calvin and Hobbes And Garfield. By the way, by people I mean boys. Boys usually find me annoying. So… so he should’ve too, but he didn’t.  He…he chose not to…and on one of the worst days of my life!

You see, last night I changed my purse and this morning I couldn’t find my bike keys.When I found them my bike refused to start. So I decided to take an auto  and deal with it later. It was 6.30 am and all the auto guys knew they were my only hope. The first auto guy asked me to pay double. The second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth refused to come to  Alliance Francaise. ” One way ide, madam”. “Vapas khali barbeku”. The seventh one  told me Rs.20 extra after I got into the auto, all I could do was blurt out random words and get off the auto. Never mind the ninth. Finally the tenth one agreed. No fighting, no haggling, no extra. Too good to be true ? Yes!

He topped them all. He fought with me on a deserted corner of the street. I just froze, ’cause in my head all I really wanted to do was scratch him, pull his eyes out, kick him in the balls, and beat him up with the meter he ‘forgot’ to use. What is with them ? I mean what is with these Bangalore auto guys ? Can’t they understand things, morning, classes, girls, grades, career, purses, shoes, bags, boys, sandals… dammit! dammit! I went off track. Its a new thing. Its because of this love thing. I apologize.

So getting back. I got into class and everybody was laughing – at me. I knew because one of the low-budget movie jokers  said “Think of the devil”. I couldn’t… I couldn’t do it anymore but I stayed. I stayed till the break and ran out to the parking lot to breath.

I was resting against the hood of a Honda civic when he came, placed a cup of tea beside me and smiled a knowing smile.

Chalo… February 15, 2011

We’d have the same argument every night.

He: Only a fool like you could fall for a painting of people eating potatoes and then go all the way to Amsterdam to see it.
She: For starters, I’m not just any kind of fool, I’m a romantic fool! Moving on, ‘The Potato Eaters’ is a remarkable painting for its time. None of Van Gogh’s contemporaries had even thought of observing peasant life. He illustrated people who grew the food they eat. In a way he…
He: I didn’t call you for an art history class!
She: Okay baba! To put it in lay-man terms, you’re not understanding the value of movie like ‘Udaan’, you’re criticizing it just because it “looks ugly”. In reality you’ve seen one too many K3Gs and Italian Jobs.
He: Here’s a reality check for you… you downloaded Udaan off YouMovie but went to the theatre to watch K3G AND Italian Job !!!

We’d go on and on for 2 hours and when was satisfied, he’d say “Chalo…” and end the conversation. He would call every night at 11. In case he didn’t, I’d call at 11.15, if he groaned, it meant that he was exhausted. If he said “I hate Van Goooooooooooooogghhh”, It meant that he was seven beers down.

Through the day I’d do things just to irritate him. Jump the collage wall… (Not that you needed to jump the wall at CKP, I mean you could just walk out of the gate. But whats the fun in that ?). Go shopping… he’d ask ” So of the five tops you bought today how many are you going to hate tomorrow?”. Fight with my mum – this ticked him off the most.

The first and the last time we met was at Anju’s surprise birthday party. We were co-ordinating the venue and Anju’s arrival and we exchanged numbers. After that, he called every night.

He never asked me out and I never asked him “So… where is this going?”

He wanted to go off and study at SMU and I wanted to stay back in Bangalore and paint. He still called every night at 11 India time. I felt even closer to him when he called from Singapore. One night, he said “I’ve met her, the woman of my dreams.” He described her; long-jet black hair, toned body, everything she wore matched – her bag matched her belt and high heels, her blouse was two are three tones darker than her pants and she only wore blues, grays and whites. She just giggled, didn’t laugh loudly. He kept talking and all I could hear was “Suit! Suit! Suit! Suit! Suit!”. She was the exact opposite of me and the perfect woman for him.

I… I havent spoken to him since. I coudn’t bare it. He called 15 times every night for a week. Finally, he called on the landline, I told my mom to tell him I wasn’t home.

Its been almost four years now. He called from a new number yesterday. He said he found my number in an old phone book. As soon as I heard his voice, I knew it, I knew that I didn’t just love him, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Although… I couldn’t remember his face, his eyes, all I could remember was his dark, supple skin. Still I knew that this was it.

We decided to meet. As I stood at the Coffee House waiting for him, I didn’t know how I’d recognise him. (No, I didn’t have him on my facebook!) I was extremely nervous. We didn’t speak about the suit-chick, and I kept wondering if he was dating her, I would be completely heart-broken. I was peering into the crowd when he caught me by my elbow and said “Hi”. I turned around, looked at him and blurted out “I love you…”

All the rascal could say was “You’re lucky I didn’t marry that hottie you got so jealous of. Chalo…”