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Seeds of doubt March 24, 2012

Posted by poetrybygitanjali in Dialogue, English, Uncategorized.
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(In a saloon, around noon on a sunday)

Barber: How are you Ram Saab? Seeing you after a long time

Ram: I’m fine . How are you ?

Barber: Have a seat sir. Should I go for the regular ? Haircut, trimming, shave?

Ram: Massage my back too Mahesh…

Barber: You look very tensed Saab, Is everything fine ?

Ram: Yes just that work has increased.

Barber: That is why you haven’t come in so long. This is the problem with these MNCs. A lot of my customers have back problems after sitting in front of the computer the whole day. Ask your wife to remove your pillow from your bed. Instead of it make a towel in the shape of a tire and use it as a support for your neck.

Ram: Haan. I’ll tell her.

Barber: What happened Saab? Has your wife gone out of town ?

Ram: She had gone out for a conference but she came back to Bangalore this morning.

Barber: Where was the conference ? New York ?

Ram: Hahahahaha! No, not in New York. Right here, in Delhi.

Barber: Okay but she’s come back now na? Ask her to make the towel into a tire. The whole spine stays straight and your neck will get ample rest. Our Guruji used to sleep like this. He was alive for 93 years. Never had any aches and pains.

Ram: Where are you from ?

Barber: From Bangalore, but our Guruji was from Udupi. He passed away last year. He married thrice.

Ram: Three times ! I’m still paying off the loan I took for my first and only wedding. How do people marry thrice!

Barber: How many years has it been since you have been married Saab ?

Ram: Three years

Barber: Do you have any kids?

Ram: No, We’re both very busy. We’ll think about it after one or two years. You need a lot of time and patience for a child, Mahesh.

Barber: What are you saying Saab ? We already have two kids.

Ram: Two kids!

Barber: Be careful Saab I might cut your ear…

Ram: How do you have two kids Mahesh? You just got married last year…

Barber: We have twins Saab.

Ram: In one year ?

Barber: Not one year Saab, Its been a year and a half . I have a customer who had a child after seven months of marriage.

Ram: And hows that…

Barber: They got engaged three months before they’re wedding… How’s the haircut Saab? Behind ?Above your ear? On the side?

Ram : (Phone rings) Hello ! Hi ! Yeah I’m still here. I know. I haven’t gone grocery shopping. Okay I’ll buy lunch on my way back. There’s yesterday’s pizza… hahaha… you ate it. Okay sweetheart… I’ll come soon.

Yes, everything’s fine Mahesh. Just give me a back massage I’ll shave and do the trimming at home. My wife’s feeling hungry.

Barber: Okay sir. Are you wearing an old T-shirt Saab ? The massage oil will leave a stain….

Ram: Yas Mahesh, Its old.

Barber: Where does it hurt the most ?

Ram: On the left shoulder blade.

Barber: Over here?

Ram: Yes…ahhhhh…correct. In the next two years, may you have four kids and two more marriages.

Barber: Hahaha… majak karta hai Saab! We have good business now in Bangalore, that is why I got married.

Ram: Why was it not good before?

Barber: Not so far away in Yelahanka. We have a another shop in Kumara Park. Now my brother takes care of it. My father and I used to go there everyday.

Ram: It must have taken you three hours in traveling to and fro.

Barber: No Saab, before there wasn’t too much traffic. During the ring road construction we used to have problems but we used take a shortcut.

Ram: I haven’t understood you’re Bangalore until today. There’s either a ‘pet’ or a ‘ooru’ in all the area names.

Barber: Hahahahah ! What Sir! (Chops on Ram’s back with his hands)

Ram: Wah! What a beautiful massage!

Barber: Wear your T-shirt Saab. I’ll just make the bill.

Ram: Mahesh, can you tell me which way is the closest Darshini ?

Barber: Go straight and take the first left. You’ll find one at the end of the street. Why Saab?

Ram: My wife wants to have a Masala Dosa. She’s tired of eating north Indian food.

Barber: Two hundred and eighty Saab. Ram Saab, do they send only one person for a conference ?

Ram: Here (Hands a 500 rupee bill). No it depends on the company.

Barber: Here’s your change ( returns 220 rupees) How many people did your wife go with ?

Ram: Well she went with fifteen people but when she came back it was just her and her colleague.

Barber: Meaning another lady ?

Ram: No, it was a man. Why are you investigating so much Mahesh ?

Barber: No Saab, I have a customer his wife went to New York for three days when she came back, she divorced him.

Ram: Hahahaha! What are you saying Mahesh ! Connecting somebody’s story to somebody else. You’ve told me this, don’t tell it to anyone else. Not everyone will understand… here’s your tip. ( Hands him Rs.20/-)

Barber: Thank you Sir. Go straight and take the first left for the Darshini.

(Walks out and removes his car keys, the airport parking ticket falls from his pocket. He picks it up , looks at it and unlocks the central locking of the car. He looks at the parking ticket again and makes a call)

Ram: Hi! No… I’m still here. I’m going just heading there. Sitara, there’s something I need to ask you… since when do you know Ravi…